Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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