Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize