I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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