Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
bring money and cleavage
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
