She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
