this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
