so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
