Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
