While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
