Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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