found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
