Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
