You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
