i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
