I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
