Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
how drunk are you?
Several
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
