no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
