You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
