I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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