There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
