We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
