If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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