he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
These tits shall not be calmed
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
The ass gains better be worth it
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