i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
