somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize