We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
