Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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