operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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