Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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