How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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