I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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