And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
