i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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