Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
