That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
