Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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