Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
