had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
