You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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