We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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