And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
