Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
