i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Damn victory sex feels great
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
