Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Randomize
