Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
