Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
