I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
