party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
