You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
