Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
